Lost You Forever S1 长相思 Review

Watch if: You like an emotionally gripping romance xuanhuan 玄幻 (where almost everyone needs therapy), with a stirring sibling reunion arc and some degree of political strife.

Skip if: You don’t want to watch a bunch of people suffering the effects of childhood trauma, torture, and abuse.

In general, I like to dwell on circumstances and motives that attract people to each other, and what they seek out of a relationship. What would it take for them to commit? What would they have to sacrifice? Who am I rooting for and why?

I believe that deep down, we long for a love that shakes us to the core and stands the test of time. Lost You Forever milks this longing with various forms of fate-defying, death-risking, all-consuming love, but is unique in the sense that there aren’t clear-cut heroes.

Each character is complex, morally grey, and somewhat dysfunctional, but people who have experienced abandonment or suffer from attachment issues may find them relatable. More about them is revealed as the show progresses, and my opinions of them evolve as I try to understand their motivations and values.

In the romance department, each male lead will stand out as a better option under different circumstances, though online polls show a strong preference for one of them. All of them go to great lengths to ensure female lead Xiao Yao is well-loved and protected, although their understanding of her wants and needs are different. I’m guessing the appeal of the show comes from viewers getting to continuously evaluate the compatibility of each pairing. My feelings about each lead were changing right until the last episode, and I’m sure they will continue to change in Season 2.

The cast did a great job with their characters, despite some of them being relatively new to the industry. The sets were luxurious and grand, and there were many beautifully framed shots, but the ongoing emotional entanglement took attention away from how well-made the show was.

Unfortunately, the show lost its steam in the last ten episodes and became incredibly tiresome to watch, but I kept going because I’d already invested so much of my emotions trying to figure everyone out *cries.

Meet The Characters

Xiao Liu / Xiao Yao (played by Yang Zi 杨紫)

As a fan of Yang Zi (the actress, and not the cutesy characters she tends to play), I’m heartened to see that she gets to showcase her acting chops here.

Xiao Yao’s childhood is marked by losses and her youth remains turbulent. She has experienced family members abandoning her in the name of duty and comes across as someone constantly trying to balance the tensions within her.

She tells her friends to stay out of trouble, but her strong sense of justice leads her to help the downtrodden anyway. She wants to be self-reliant but is aware it’s a coping mechanism. Her loneliness draws her to Xiang Liu but she’s cautious not to expect friendship in return. She forms a deep connection with Shi Qi, but her fear of being hurt pushes him away. She wants to be free from obligation but gives up her freedom readily to help Cang Xuan on his path to power. She thinks that romance is unnecessary but is heartbroken when betrayed.

Xiao Yao lives with a raincloud over her, unable to be comfortable with long periods of happiness, and is always prepared for disappointment and tragedy.

[minor spoiler]

There were many heartrending scenes throughout but one that stood out was when Xiao Yao spots Ah Nian’s mother who looks just like her own, and starts crawling towards her. In an instant, it was like her inner child surfaced as she sobs frantically and demands an answer to the question that has haunted her for years. That scene also climaxed into a satisfying reunion with Cang Xuan.

[end spoiler]

Cang Xuan (played by Zhang Wan Yi 张晚意)

Zhang Wan Yi did a great job playing a controlled and calculated character. He is willing to pay a high price to accumulate power, even if it means denying himself what he truly wants. He’s cordial and earnest towards allies, ruthless and cold towards enemies.

It’s interesting to watch how Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao process their reunion and grapple with who they’ve turned out to be. Cang Xuan is quick to admit that he has a streak of cruelty in him, while Xiao Yao explains that sadness will always be present in her life. They made a pact as children to stay by each other’s side forever but living out this covenant as adults proves to be challenging.

Cang Xuan once quipped that love cannot provide warmth nor satisfy hunger, and this is telling of his practical stance towards marriage and romance. He knows that his need for political power makes him unsuitable as Xiao Yao’s lover, and therefore doesn’t act on his feelings – at least not in season one.

Ye Shi Qi / Tu Shan Jing (played by Deng Wei 邓为)

There’s an inherent goodness in Shi Qi or Jing that enables him to love people wholeheartedly. He’s unquestioningly loyal and devoted to Xiao Liu who rescued and accepted him into her own found family. He chooses to keep his estranged older brother alive because he cherishes the strong kinship they once had.

His slowness in breaking off the unwanted engagement to Fang Feng Yi Ying could be interpreted as meekness, but Xiao Yao seems to understand his struggles and accept the underlying principles he lives by. His love for her extends to Cang Xuan, and shows in the way he strategically orchestrates situations to help him advance his cause.

While Cang Xuan and Xiang Liu have goals to pursue and therefore have to withhold their affection for Xiao Yao, Jing is blatantly honest about his feelings and expresses his love unabashedly. He is the least bound to an agenda and can provide the stability that Xiao Yao craves. Unfortunately, he is trapped by the schemes of his fiancé and brother, and ends up a disappointment.

Xiang Liu (played by Tan Jian Ci 檀健次)

Xiang Liu’s horrifyingly abusive and manipulative actions towards Xiao Yao are easier to watch when we remember he’s a demon, and that the morality of the world they’re living in is different. He oscillates between saviour and abuser for a good stretch of the show, and it made me uncomfortable to know that he’s considered a potential love interest.

I understand how loneliness drove Xiao Yao to accept him into her world and was reminded of the saying “bad love is better than no love”, used to explain why girls stay with men who treat them badly.

However, their scenes together are often fun and funny and could be attributed to Tan Jian Ci’s magnetic screen presence. It is possible that over time, Xiao Yao starts to relate to the vulnerability she sees in him. When Xiang Liu risks his life to save her and nurse her back to health, it feels redemptive for his character.

It’s easy to see why opinions of Xiang Liu turned positive over time and the idea of love being so powerful it can change a damaged man is a romantic one indeed.

Chi Shui Feng Long (played by Wang Hong Yi 王弘毅)

Late to the game, this guy is angst-free and seems to be the most stable and wholesome partner for Xiao Yao. Goofy at times, but no less intelligent and resourceful than the others.